This derasha is dedicated to the memory of Gilad, son of Adva and Tomer, who was killed in this accursed war. Feeling aggrieved along with my beloved sister-in-law, the produce of whose womb has been cut down, I wish her the strength to live with the pain of this loss.
Mother, like God, there is only one. And of our four mothers (The matriarchs), Rebecca teaches us, more than all of them, about norturing motherhood in the shadow of trauma.
Rebecca is a powerful woman. In her pregnancy, it is said: "And the children struggled together within her; and she said: 'If it be so, wherefore do I live?' And she went to inquire of the LORD" (Genesis 25:22). Unlike her beloved husband Isaac, about whom it is written: "And Isaac entreated the LORD for his wife, because she was barren" (ibid. 21). Isaac petitioned God, as one who sends a petition to the ruler, to the person in authority or to the court. Rebecca is going to demand from God. She has questions and complaints to him, she does not keep them to herself, and goes to demand an answer. She receives an answer in the form of a riddle, which is subject to interpretation in view of the twins in her womb: "And the LORD said unto her: Two nations are in thy womb, and two peoples shall be separated from thy bowels; and the one people shall be stronger than the other people; and the elder shall serve the younger" (ibid. 23).
Before us are two sons, twins, one mother who knows something about the sons from God, and a father - Isaac, who loves Esau. As it is said: "Now Isaac loved Esau, because he did eat of his venison; and Rebecca loved Jacob" (ibid. 28).
Mother, like God, there is only one, and when the father Isaac loves Esau because he has hunt in his mouth, Rebecca loves Jacob. Like God, she knows that only with a mother's love that has no reason, and a few tricks with the father who yearns for the hunter son, she will succeed in raising this son Jacob, who follows Esau from birth, and fails to be like him. Jacob is a quiet man, dwelling in tents - it seems that this is not a great compliment.
Mother, like God, there is only one. Her man - Isaac - who suffered considerable loss from the binding, does not leave the house, and only wants the closeness of Esau, who embodies everything he fails to be. This man is unable to see, love and nurture the son who is so similar to him - the tent dweller - Jacob. In these complicated circumstances, I see this mother looking for any way to bring the father's blessing and his closeness to the son who sits all day in the tent. I think of her difficulty living with the impossible gap between the hunter son, who has already married two wives, and the young son who needs a blessing for the road, or at least the blessing of his father. This mother is doing everything so that this son will also be able to leave the house.
And unlike the man's father, with whom she lives, she takes her son, and binds him to his father, so that he may bless him, even if in a tortuous manner.
Strong women have always been (and maybe will be) the object of society's criticism. This mother is manipulative, she lies to her husband and also makes her son lie, we all tend to say (although she takes responsibility for the lie). We mothers also tend to criticize her behavior.
I suggest asking ourselves what the meaning of God's revelation to Rebecca is. Commentators throughout the ages have not been able to overcome the very obstacle that there is a revelation to a woman here, and have dealt with the question of how it can be that God reveals himself to a woman. The time has come to ask about the meaning of what is said in the Revelation: "Two nations are in thy womb, and two peoples shall be separated from thy bowels; and the one people shall be stronger than the other people; and the elder shall serve the younger" (Ibid. 23). The Midrash followed the spelling of the word גֹיִים and emphasizes the excessive pride of the people of Israel on the one hand and of Edom (Rome) on the other hand. And yet he has difficulty with the interpretation of "the elder shall serve the younger" in the reality after the Bar Kokhba revolt. "He said to her that neither of them behaves in the same way, but when Esau sets up presidents, Jacob sets up prophets, Esau sets up champions, Jacob sets up kings" (Midrash Hagadol on Genesis, Toldot, 25:23).
I want to suggest that a mother understands that it is precisely in the child who dwells in the tents, who has difficulty leaving the house, who needs the father's blessing (and his love), that it is precisely in this child that one should invest. She must train him to break free from tent dwelling and prepare him to go on the road. She understands that only if he sets out, goes out into life, is freed from the tent in which he is dwelling, he will grow and succeed in fulfilling his life, whether through love, whether through birth, and whether through excelling with the herds.
The proverb "Be careful with regard to the education of the sons of paupers, as it is from them that the Torah will issue forth" (Babylonian talmud, Nedarim 81:1) expresses this subversive saying, according to which one should invest educationally and spiritually precisely in the weak, because the physical weakness of the son who dwells in the tents can be expressed in spiritual strength, with the help which the young man, the weak and rejected may be fruitful, and above all fulfill his life.
In days of war, when the spirits are the spirits of battle, there is a place to shout the cry of mothers. A cry that needs to develop and express the spiritual superiority over the physical one, the superiority of the tents over this of the hunter, or at least the need for a delicate balance between them in our lives.
There is only one mother, and her role is to see the rejected, weakened, neglected children, because if Torah does not come out of them - burning fire will come out of them.
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Rabbi Orit Rosenblit was ordained at Hebrew Union College in 2020. She has a master's degree in Jewish history from the University of Haifa and is writing a doctorate on Mishnah commentary. Founder of the association "Poteach She'arim", a mixed beit midrash for secular and orthodox young people. Since her ordination, she has founded and heads "Poteach She'arim" congregation in Kiryat Shmona - a traditional egalitarian community.
Mother, like God, there is only one. And of our four mothers (The matriarchs), Rebecca teaches us, more than all of them, about norturing motherhood in the shadow of trauma.
Rebecca is a powerful woman. In her pregnancy, it is said: "And the children struggled together within her; and she said: 'If it be so, wherefore do I live?' And she went to inquire of the LORD" (Genesis 25:22). Unlike her beloved husband Isaac, about whom it is written: "And Isaac entreated the LORD for his wife, because she was barren" (ibid. 21). Isaac petitioned God, as one who sends a petition to the ruler, to the person in authority or to the court. Rebecca is going to demand from God. She has questions and complaints to him, she does not keep them to herself, and goes to demand an answer. She receives an answer in the form of a riddle, which is subject to interpretation in view of the twins in her womb: "And the LORD said unto her: Two nations are in thy womb, and two peoples shall be separated from thy bowels; and the one people shall be stronger than the other people; and the elder shall serve the younger" (ibid. 23).
Before us are two sons, twins, one mother who knows something about the sons from God, and a father - Isaac, who loves Esau. As it is said: "Now Isaac loved Esau, because he did eat of his venison; and Rebecca loved Jacob" (ibid. 28).
Mother, like God, there is only one, and when the father Isaac loves Esau because he has hunt in his mouth, Rebecca loves Jacob. Like God, she knows that only with a mother's love that has no reason, and a few tricks with the father who yearns for the hunter son, she will succeed in raising this son Jacob, who follows Esau from birth, and fails to be like him. Jacob is a quiet man, dwelling in tents - it seems that this is not a great compliment.
Mother, like God, there is only one. Her man - Isaac - who suffered considerable loss from the binding, does not leave the house, and only wants the closeness of Esau, who embodies everything he fails to be. This man is unable to see, love and nurture the son who is so similar to him - the tent dweller - Jacob. In these complicated circumstances, I see this mother looking for any way to bring the father's blessing and his closeness to the son who sits all day in the tent. I think of her difficulty living with the impossible gap between the hunter son, who has already married two wives, and the young son who needs a blessing for the road, or at least the blessing of his father. This mother is doing everything so that this son will also be able to leave the house.
And unlike the man's father, with whom she lives, she takes her son, and binds him to his father, so that he may bless him, even if in a tortuous manner.
Strong women have always been (and maybe will be) the object of society's criticism. This mother is manipulative, she lies to her husband and also makes her son lie, we all tend to say (although she takes responsibility for the lie). We mothers also tend to criticize her behavior.
I suggest asking ourselves what the meaning of God's revelation to Rebecca is. Commentators throughout the ages have not been able to overcome the very obstacle that there is a revelation to a woman here, and have dealt with the question of how it can be that God reveals himself to a woman. The time has come to ask about the meaning of what is said in the Revelation: "Two nations are in thy womb, and two peoples shall be separated from thy bowels; and the one people shall be stronger than the other people; and the elder shall serve the younger" (Ibid. 23). The Midrash followed the spelling of the word גֹיִים and emphasizes the excessive pride of the people of Israel on the one hand and of Edom (Rome) on the other hand. And yet he has difficulty with the interpretation of "the elder shall serve the younger" in the reality after the Bar Kokhba revolt. "He said to her that neither of them behaves in the same way, but when Esau sets up presidents, Jacob sets up prophets, Esau sets up champions, Jacob sets up kings" (Midrash Hagadol on Genesis, Toldot, 25:23).
I want to suggest that a mother understands that it is precisely in the child who dwells in the tents, who has difficulty leaving the house, who needs the father's blessing (and his love), that it is precisely in this child that one should invest. She must train him to break free from tent dwelling and prepare him to go on the road. She understands that only if he sets out, goes out into life, is freed from the tent in which he is dwelling, he will grow and succeed in fulfilling his life, whether through love, whether through birth, and whether through excelling with the herds.
The proverb "Be careful with regard to the education of the sons of paupers, as it is from them that the Torah will issue forth" (Babylonian talmud, Nedarim 81:1) expresses this subversive saying, according to which one should invest educationally and spiritually precisely in the weak, because the physical weakness of the son who dwells in the tents can be expressed in spiritual strength, with the help which the young man, the weak and rejected may be fruitful, and above all fulfill his life.
In days of war, when the spirits are the spirits of battle, there is a place to shout the cry of mothers. A cry that needs to develop and express the spiritual superiority over the physical one, the superiority of the tents over this of the hunter, or at least the need for a delicate balance between them in our lives.
There is only one mother, and her role is to see the rejected, weakened, neglected children, because if Torah does not come out of them - burning fire will come out of them.
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Rabbi Orit Rosenblit was ordained at Hebrew Union College in 2020. She has a master's degree in Jewish history from the University of Haifa and is writing a doctorate on Mishnah commentary. Founder of the association "Poteach She'arim", a mixed beit midrash for secular and orthodox young people. Since her ordination, she has founded and heads "Poteach She'arim" congregation in Kiryat Shmona - a traditional egalitarian community.