No one likes being told they’re wrong. It can be ego-bruising to learn that we’ve been mistaken. If we are so sure about our convictions, we can feel resentment about being challenged. In today’s world, we avoid all this by existing in echo chambers. This is a problem.
Adam Grant, a professor of organizational psychology, wrote a book called, Think Again, about how to break the civic and interpersonal stalemate that prevents us from collaborating across difference for the greater good. Grant’s prescription is to work hard at being a lifelong learner and by unlocking “the joy of being wrong” (62). The midrashic interpretation of this week’s parashah, Devarim, agrees. Our sages see virtue in being open to having one’s ideas and behaviors challenged.
When Moses begins to prepare the Israelites for entering the land of Canaan, he begins an oration that reminds them of their past mistakes in order to learn from them — a course correction, if you will — before crossing over to the promised land (Deut. 1:6).
The rabbinic sages call what Moses is engaged here as: tochachah as a noun meaning rebuke. Interpreting the opening of verse of the Torah’s fifth book, “These are the words that Moses addressed to all Israel” as the beginning of the tochachah, the early rabbis read into the words “all Israel” as the need for rebuke to be inclusive and transparent. And, because Moses doesn’t put all of the errors of the past on the people -- he admits to some of his own shortcomings as a leader (Deut. 1:9) -- the sages build reciprocity into their conception of tochachah, even when there is a difference in hierarchical standing.
In the words of Sifre Devarim 1:
"'To all Israel' - Hence we learn that Moses gathered them all together, from the oldest to the youngest, and said to them: 'I am about to rebuke you. If anyone has anything to say in a rebuttal: Let them come forth and speak.' […] Another interpretation: 'To all Israel' - they were all rebukers and all able to stand in rebuke."
Probably knowing how hard it is to hear rebuke, the rabbis teach us that, when done in the right spirit, hearing rebuke is about receiving another’s love and blessing. Like what Adam Grant calls “unlocking the joy of being wrong” could be applied to how the second century sage Rabbi Johanan ben Nuri describes Rabbi Akiva who only loved him more each time he rebuked him as he embodied the words of Proverbs 9:8: “reprove a wise one and they will love you” (Sifre Devarim 1).
And in a later midrash we learn explicitly how to help people come to appreciate the potential discomfort of tochachah :
"These are the words” (Deut. 1:1) — the rabbis say, God said to Moses: ‘See that the Israelites accepted your rebuke, you ought to bless them.’ Thereupon he turned and blessed them" (Devarim Rabbah 1:9).
Sadly in Israel today we are lacking leadership which is motivated to build consensus from a spirit of inclusive love. Change in the public discourse will need to come from the ground-up, from already existing spaces of shared commitments: one relative talking to another, someone meeting with their neighbor, two colleagues having a discussion.
The first meaning of the causative verb, leohiach, is to clarify the truth of something. In the democratic world and in the Jewish tradition, truths emerge from honest debate. In the words of Adam Grant, debate can be something to look forward to: “A debate is like a dance, not a war. Admitting points of convergence doesn’t make you weaker--it shows that you’re willing to negotiate about what’s true, and it motivates the other side to consider your point of view” (254).
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Rabbi Reuven Greenvald lives in Jerusalem and proudly serves as the head of the Year-In-Israel program for those entering the North American rabbinical and cantorial programs at HUC-JIR.
Adam Grant, a professor of organizational psychology, wrote a book called, Think Again, about how to break the civic and interpersonal stalemate that prevents us from collaborating across difference for the greater good. Grant’s prescription is to work hard at being a lifelong learner and by unlocking “the joy of being wrong” (62). The midrashic interpretation of this week’s parashah, Devarim, agrees. Our sages see virtue in being open to having one’s ideas and behaviors challenged.
When Moses begins to prepare the Israelites for entering the land of Canaan, he begins an oration that reminds them of their past mistakes in order to learn from them — a course correction, if you will — before crossing over to the promised land (Deut. 1:6).
The rabbinic sages call what Moses is engaged here as: tochachah as a noun meaning rebuke. Interpreting the opening of verse of the Torah’s fifth book, “These are the words that Moses addressed to all Israel” as the beginning of the tochachah, the early rabbis read into the words “all Israel” as the need for rebuke to be inclusive and transparent. And, because Moses doesn’t put all of the errors of the past on the people -- he admits to some of his own shortcomings as a leader (Deut. 1:9) -- the sages build reciprocity into their conception of tochachah, even when there is a difference in hierarchical standing.
In the words of Sifre Devarim 1:
"'To all Israel' - Hence we learn that Moses gathered them all together, from the oldest to the youngest, and said to them: 'I am about to rebuke you. If anyone has anything to say in a rebuttal: Let them come forth and speak.' […] Another interpretation: 'To all Israel' - they were all rebukers and all able to stand in rebuke."
Probably knowing how hard it is to hear rebuke, the rabbis teach us that, when done in the right spirit, hearing rebuke is about receiving another’s love and blessing. Like what Adam Grant calls “unlocking the joy of being wrong” could be applied to how the second century sage Rabbi Johanan ben Nuri describes Rabbi Akiva who only loved him more each time he rebuked him as he embodied the words of Proverbs 9:8: “reprove a wise one and they will love you” (Sifre Devarim 1).
And in a later midrash we learn explicitly how to help people come to appreciate the potential discomfort of tochachah :
"These are the words” (Deut. 1:1) — the rabbis say, God said to Moses: ‘See that the Israelites accepted your rebuke, you ought to bless them.’ Thereupon he turned and blessed them" (Devarim Rabbah 1:9).
Sadly in Israel today we are lacking leadership which is motivated to build consensus from a spirit of inclusive love. Change in the public discourse will need to come from the ground-up, from already existing spaces of shared commitments: one relative talking to another, someone meeting with their neighbor, two colleagues having a discussion.
The first meaning of the causative verb, leohiach, is to clarify the truth of something. In the democratic world and in the Jewish tradition, truths emerge from honest debate. In the words of Adam Grant, debate can be something to look forward to: “A debate is like a dance, not a war. Admitting points of convergence doesn’t make you weaker--it shows that you’re willing to negotiate about what’s true, and it motivates the other side to consider your point of view” (254).
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Rabbi Reuven Greenvald lives in Jerusalem and proudly serves as the head of the Year-In-Israel program for those entering the North American rabbinical and cantorial programs at HUC-JIR.