Why is there an absolute prohibition against intermarriage with the peoples of Moab and Ammon — “Even in the tenth generation, none of them may enter the assembly of the LORD forever” — as opposed to the more moderate prohibition concerning Edom and Egypt: “Children born to them in the third generation may enter the assembly of the LORD”?
Which of these four peoples was remembered by the generation that left Egypt and by the generation of the wilderness as the more dangerous and cruel enemy? Moab and Ammon, while cruel, “Because they did not meet you with food and water on your journey when you left Egypt, and because they hired Balaam son of Beor, from Pethor of Aram-naharaim, to curse you,” are nothing compared to Edom, who came out against Israel “with a heavy force and a strong hand” [Numbers 20:20], while the Egyptians enslaved us with harsh labor and threw the babies of our people into the Nile.
Yet regarding Ammon and Moab, Moses warns in Parashat Ki Teitzei: “You shall never seek their peace or prosperity, all your days.” In contrast, regarding Edom and Egypt he says: “You shall not abhor an Edomite, for he is your brother; you shall not abhor an Egyptian, for you were a stranger in his land” [Deuteronomy 23:4–7]. One would have expected exactly the opposite attitude toward Ammon and Moab than toward Edom and Egypt.
Rashi offers an explanation for this question: Egypt and Edom wanted “only” to destroy our bodies in this world, whereas Moab and Ammon sought to cause us to sin so that we would lose our portion in the World to Come. I find this explanation difficult to accept. In fact, the real reason for the prohibition against intermarriage with Ammon and Moab is hinted at by the preceding verse, which prohibits marriage with a mamzer, and by the similar wording of the two prohibitions: “A mamzer may not enter the assembly of the LORD; even in the tenth generation, none of his descendants may enter the assembly of the LORD” [ibid., 23:3].
Ammon and Moab were born as a result of incest between Lot’s daughters and their father. Therefore, these two peoples have a “genetic defect,” and they must not intermix with sacred Israel.
But it turns out that “life is stronger than any halakhah.” King David was the great-grandson of Ruth the Moabite, and his son Solomon married Naamah the Ammonite. Thus, the supposed genetic “defect” of Lot’s descendants become interwoven precisely into our royal dynasty. For this reason, the Sages taught that the prohibition against marrying Ammonites and Moabites applies only to men of those nations, and not to the women.
In Parashat Ki Teitzei, and throughout the Bible in general, the nations of the world are not treated as one homogeneous group. There are those who are close and those who are distant. There are those with whom intermarriage is forbidden, and there are those whom we are forbidden to despise. Several prophets envisioned the unity of humanity in the End of Days: “For My house shall be called a house of prayer for all peoples,” promises Isaiah (56:7). “And the LORD shall be King over all the earth; on that day the LORD shall be One and His name One,” promises Zechariah (14:9). On the other hand, there are verses that emphasize the uniqueness and distinctiveness of the people of Israel.
How did the Sages deal with the cruel attitude toward the peoples of Canaan? The commandment in Deuteronomy concerning these peoples is: “You shall utterly destroy them; you shall make no covenant with them and show them no mercy.” According to the plain meaning, “lo techanem” (from the root חנן, ḥ-n-n) means “do not have mercy on them.” But the Sages interpreted it as: “Do not give them ḥanayah” (from the root חנה, ḥ-n-h) in the land. The halakhic meaning becomes: do not sell or lease them land.
Even if the Sages’ intention in this interpretation was “expel them from the Holy Land,” and expulsion — what we today call “transfer” — is considered cruel, it is still less cruel than the demand “You shall utterly destroy them” — the annihilation of the peoples who inhabited the Promised Land when the people of Israel settled there.
What is the proper attitude toward the nations of the world?
The answer depends on the circumstances in which the question is asked.
Hillel the Elder says: “When they are bringing in, scatter; when they are scattering, gather” [Tosefta Berakhot, Chapter 6].When the people of Israel are scattered to the four corners of the earth, persecuted and oppressed by large and powerful nations, there is an obligation to raise Israel’s spirits and emphasize its chosenness and “superiority” over the nations.
In the Diaspora, it was understandable to recite every day: “Blessed are You… who has not made me a gentile.” Words that were originally intended to be said once a year — as an introduction to the Malchuyot section of the Rosh Hashanah Musaf prayer — became, in the Diaspora, a slogan of pride and superiority recited three times a day:“Who has not made us like the nations of the lands, nor placed us like the families of the earth; who has not made our portion like theirs and our destiny like that of all their multitudes, for they bow down to vanity and emptiness and pray to a god who cannot save…”
But when the people of Israel are independent in our own land, and the Israel Defense Forces are the strongest army in the Middle East, these expressions of superiority become a desecration of God’s name, not only because of the racist image they create of us in the world, but primarily because of the nationalist and racist education that such statements encourage and cultivate among us.
The book Torat HaMelekh (“The King’s Torah”), “exilic halakhic rulings,” collected halakhic rulings that developed during periods of suffering and persecution. The natural response of a people whose blood was considered worthless was to establish the principle: “Jewish blood is redder than gentile blood; killing a gentile is less serious than killing a Jew.” This book deserves the title “Torat Eved Ki Yimlokh” (“The Torah of the Slave Who Becomes King”).
The liberated Jewish slave carries within them feelings of deprivation and self-justification: “Our blood was spilled like water because of antisemitism. Now it is time for the gentiles — especially the Palestinians — to suffer the force of our arm!” The bitter fruits of this kind of “halakhah” are Jewish terrorists who call themselves “Hilltop Youth.”
We must educate our children and grandchildren:
All human beings were created in the image of God. Among every people, just as among Israel, there are good people and bad people. There are Jews and non-Jews who have lost their humanity because hatred has driven them out of their minds; and there are people in Israel and among every nation and religion whose lives and conduct are proof that they were created in the image of God.
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Rabbi Dr. Gil Nativ was born in Haifa. During the Six-Day War, he fought as a paratrooper in Jerusalem. He earned a bachelor's degree in social sciences in 1970. From 1972 to 1974, he served in the U.S. as an emissary of the Youth and Chalutz Department. He returned to active combat service during the Yom Kippur War. From 1974 to 1977, he pursued a master’s degree at the Hebrew University and at Hebrew Union College in Jerusalem. In 1977, he and his family joined Kibbutz Yahel for its first two years. After returning to Haifa, he served as the first rabbi of the "Ohel Avraham" congregation and taught Talmud at Leo Baeck High School. From 1985 to 1990, he completed a doctorate in Talmud at H.U.C. in Cincinnati. From 1992 to 2002, he directed Jewish studies at the Leo Baeck Education Center and served as rabbi of the Masorti (Conservative) congregation "Moriah" in Haifa. He was president of the Conservative Rabbinical Assembly in Israel from 1996 to 1998. He spent sabbatical years (2002–2003) teaching Talmud in Los Angeles and in a similar role at Leo Baeck College in London. From 2004 to 2012, he was rabbi of the Masorti congregation "Magen Avraham" in Omer. From 2012 to 2015, he served as rabbi of the Progressive Jewish community in Warsaw, Poland. Since returning to Israel, he has been the rabbi of the "Hakerem" congregation in Karmiel. Zivah and Gil Nativ have been married since November 1969. They have three children and seven grandchildren. Since 1980, their shared hobby has been Israeli folk dancing.
Which of these four peoples was remembered by the generation that left Egypt and by the generation of the wilderness as the more dangerous and cruel enemy? Moab and Ammon, while cruel, “Because they did not meet you with food and water on your journey when you left Egypt, and because they hired Balaam son of Beor, from Pethor of Aram-naharaim, to curse you,” are nothing compared to Edom, who came out against Israel “with a heavy force and a strong hand” [Numbers 20:20], while the Egyptians enslaved us with harsh labor and threw the babies of our people into the Nile.
Yet regarding Ammon and Moab, Moses warns in Parashat Ki Teitzei: “You shall never seek their peace or prosperity, all your days.” In contrast, regarding Edom and Egypt he says: “You shall not abhor an Edomite, for he is your brother; you shall not abhor an Egyptian, for you were a stranger in his land” [Deuteronomy 23:4–7]. One would have expected exactly the opposite attitude toward Ammon and Moab than toward Edom and Egypt.
Rashi offers an explanation for this question: Egypt and Edom wanted “only” to destroy our bodies in this world, whereas Moab and Ammon sought to cause us to sin so that we would lose our portion in the World to Come. I find this explanation difficult to accept. In fact, the real reason for the prohibition against intermarriage with Ammon and Moab is hinted at by the preceding verse, which prohibits marriage with a mamzer, and by the similar wording of the two prohibitions: “A mamzer may not enter the assembly of the LORD; even in the tenth generation, none of his descendants may enter the assembly of the LORD” [ibid., 23:3].
Ammon and Moab were born as a result of incest between Lot’s daughters and their father. Therefore, these two peoples have a “genetic defect,” and they must not intermix with sacred Israel.
But it turns out that “life is stronger than any halakhah.” King David was the great-grandson of Ruth the Moabite, and his son Solomon married Naamah the Ammonite. Thus, the supposed genetic “defect” of Lot’s descendants become interwoven precisely into our royal dynasty. For this reason, the Sages taught that the prohibition against marrying Ammonites and Moabites applies only to men of those nations, and not to the women.
In Parashat Ki Teitzei, and throughout the Bible in general, the nations of the world are not treated as one homogeneous group. There are those who are close and those who are distant. There are those with whom intermarriage is forbidden, and there are those whom we are forbidden to despise. Several prophets envisioned the unity of humanity in the End of Days: “For My house shall be called a house of prayer for all peoples,” promises Isaiah (56:7). “And the LORD shall be King over all the earth; on that day the LORD shall be One and His name One,” promises Zechariah (14:9). On the other hand, there are verses that emphasize the uniqueness and distinctiveness of the people of Israel.
How did the Sages deal with the cruel attitude toward the peoples of Canaan? The commandment in Deuteronomy concerning these peoples is: “You shall utterly destroy them; you shall make no covenant with them and show them no mercy.” According to the plain meaning, “lo techanem” (from the root חנן, ḥ-n-n) means “do not have mercy on them.” But the Sages interpreted it as: “Do not give them ḥanayah” (from the root חנה, ḥ-n-h) in the land. The halakhic meaning becomes: do not sell or lease them land.
Even if the Sages’ intention in this interpretation was “expel them from the Holy Land,” and expulsion — what we today call “transfer” — is considered cruel, it is still less cruel than the demand “You shall utterly destroy them” — the annihilation of the peoples who inhabited the Promised Land when the people of Israel settled there.
What is the proper attitude toward the nations of the world?
The answer depends on the circumstances in which the question is asked.
Hillel the Elder says: “When they are bringing in, scatter; when they are scattering, gather” [Tosefta Berakhot, Chapter 6].When the people of Israel are scattered to the four corners of the earth, persecuted and oppressed by large and powerful nations, there is an obligation to raise Israel’s spirits and emphasize its chosenness and “superiority” over the nations.
In the Diaspora, it was understandable to recite every day: “Blessed are You… who has not made me a gentile.” Words that were originally intended to be said once a year — as an introduction to the Malchuyot section of the Rosh Hashanah Musaf prayer — became, in the Diaspora, a slogan of pride and superiority recited three times a day:“Who has not made us like the nations of the lands, nor placed us like the families of the earth; who has not made our portion like theirs and our destiny like that of all their multitudes, for they bow down to vanity and emptiness and pray to a god who cannot save…”
But when the people of Israel are independent in our own land, and the Israel Defense Forces are the strongest army in the Middle East, these expressions of superiority become a desecration of God’s name, not only because of the racist image they create of us in the world, but primarily because of the nationalist and racist education that such statements encourage and cultivate among us.
The book Torat HaMelekh (“The King’s Torah”), “exilic halakhic rulings,” collected halakhic rulings that developed during periods of suffering and persecution. The natural response of a people whose blood was considered worthless was to establish the principle: “Jewish blood is redder than gentile blood; killing a gentile is less serious than killing a Jew.” This book deserves the title “Torat Eved Ki Yimlokh” (“The Torah of the Slave Who Becomes King”).
The liberated Jewish slave carries within them feelings of deprivation and self-justification: “Our blood was spilled like water because of antisemitism. Now it is time for the gentiles — especially the Palestinians — to suffer the force of our arm!” The bitter fruits of this kind of “halakhah” are Jewish terrorists who call themselves “Hilltop Youth.”
We must educate our children and grandchildren:
All human beings were created in the image of God. Among every people, just as among Israel, there are good people and bad people. There are Jews and non-Jews who have lost their humanity because hatred has driven them out of their minds; and there are people in Israel and among every nation and religion whose lives and conduct are proof that they were created in the image of God.
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Rabbi Dr. Gil Nativ was born in Haifa. During the Six-Day War, he fought as a paratrooper in Jerusalem. He earned a bachelor's degree in social sciences in 1970. From 1972 to 1974, he served in the U.S. as an emissary of the Youth and Chalutz Department. He returned to active combat service during the Yom Kippur War. From 1974 to 1977, he pursued a master’s degree at the Hebrew University and at Hebrew Union College in Jerusalem. In 1977, he and his family joined Kibbutz Yahel for its first two years. After returning to Haifa, he served as the first rabbi of the "Ohel Avraham" congregation and taught Talmud at Leo Baeck High School. From 1985 to 1990, he completed a doctorate in Talmud at H.U.C. in Cincinnati. From 1992 to 2002, he directed Jewish studies at the Leo Baeck Education Center and served as rabbi of the Masorti (Conservative) congregation "Moriah" in Haifa. He was president of the Conservative Rabbinical Assembly in Israel from 1996 to 1998. He spent sabbatical years (2002–2003) teaching Talmud in Los Angeles and in a similar role at Leo Baeck College in London. From 2004 to 2012, he was rabbi of the Masorti congregation "Magen Avraham" in Omer. From 2012 to 2015, he served as rabbi of the Progressive Jewish community in Warsaw, Poland. Since returning to Israel, he has been the rabbi of the "Hakerem" congregation in Karmiel. Zivah and Gil Nativ have been married since November 1969. They have three children and seven grandchildren. Since 1980, their shared hobby has been Israeli folk dancing.